Vacuum Cleaner Salesman- my op-ed
Yesterday, I allowed a couple of Kirby vacuum salesman in the house. I admit I was mostly interested in having my carpets cleaned for free (I have a hard time paying more for a vacuum than some cars I have owned), but I was willing to let them do their sales pitch. They did tell me that there was NO obligation to buy.
If you have ever had a vacuum salesman cleaner come in your home (this is my 3rd time), this is usually how it goes. They bring in the vacuum and put it together. As they put it together they tell you how many things the vacuum can do. My salesman said it would wash my car, clean my upholstery, and give me a massage. I asked him if it would do my dishes too. He glared at me for a second and went on talking like I hadn't said anything.
Then, they vacuum about 10 square feet of carpet and pull out something designed to gross you out, a filter with all the dirt they just sucked up. They tell you how lame-o your current vacuum is, making you feel like a complete idiot for buying it. Then they continue with how this dirt is probably causing all kinds of disease in your family, continuing to lower your self-esteem, and make you feel like a horrible person.
As they are doing this, they are using more and more filters around the room sucking up all the dirt your pithy $300 vacuum missed.
After he is done taking 10 times as long to vacuum your room than it should have, he then tells you how much money you will save by buying his vacuum.
He says, "Well, most vacuums only last 2-4 years. So you spend $300 every 3 years on a new vacuum, that's $1200 after 12 years. Then, you spend $300 a year to professionally clean your carpet, after 12 years, that's another $3600. So, if you add together the 1200 and the 3600, you have $4800 into cleaning your carpets. So you are getting a killer deal if you buy this $2000 vacuum which is warrantied to last 40 years."
Are you kidding me? Maybe I'm cheap or unclean or something, but I have never spent $400 a year on carpet cleaning and vacuums. Still, I was intrigued. His pitch was winning me over. Skewed math and insults to my vacuum aside, the vacuum shampooer DID do a really good job. It IS a nice vacuum, and I wouldn't mind having one.
So he asked me, "If I could make it affordable for you, would you be interested in owning this machine?"
So I said, "Sure, IF you can make it affordable for me."
He asked me what was affordable. I told him $30 a month. That's my budget (it's a VACUUM for crying out loud). I wasn't budging. He tried to talk me up to $90 a month, then $75. He even got down to $50 a month (with 24% interest). He called his boss; he tossed around more figures; he told me again what a bad person I was for letting my family live with such filth (not his exact words); he even offered to buy my old vacuum. He never got down to $30/month, so I said no dice.
Even though he had told me there would be no hard feelings if I said no, even though he said I could take it or leave it, he still left in a huff. I can't really blame him, though.
But my carpets are cleaned, so I got what I wanted. Did I swindle them? I don't know, maybe. Am I a bad person for not getting my family out of the grime and filth that my Bissell leaves behind? I don't know, maybe. Am I going to let another vacuum salesman in my house again to give his sales pitch to me? I don't know, maybe.
If you have ever had a vacuum salesman cleaner come in your home (this is my 3rd time), this is usually how it goes. They bring in the vacuum and put it together. As they put it together they tell you how many things the vacuum can do. My salesman said it would wash my car, clean my upholstery, and give me a massage. I asked him if it would do my dishes too. He glared at me for a second and went on talking like I hadn't said anything.
Then, they vacuum about 10 square feet of carpet and pull out something designed to gross you out, a filter with all the dirt they just sucked up. They tell you how lame-o your current vacuum is, making you feel like a complete idiot for buying it. Then they continue with how this dirt is probably causing all kinds of disease in your family, continuing to lower your self-esteem, and make you feel like a horrible person.
As they are doing this, they are using more and more filters around the room sucking up all the dirt your pithy $300 vacuum missed.
After he is done taking 10 times as long to vacuum your room than it should have, he then tells you how much money you will save by buying his vacuum.
He says, "Well, most vacuums only last 2-4 years. So you spend $300 every 3 years on a new vacuum, that's $1200 after 12 years. Then, you spend $300 a year to professionally clean your carpet, after 12 years, that's another $3600. So, if you add together the 1200 and the 3600, you have $4800 into cleaning your carpets. So you are getting a killer deal if you buy this $2000 vacuum which is warrantied to last 40 years."
Are you kidding me? Maybe I'm cheap or unclean or something, but I have never spent $400 a year on carpet cleaning and vacuums. Still, I was intrigued. His pitch was winning me over. Skewed math and insults to my vacuum aside, the vacuum shampooer DID do a really good job. It IS a nice vacuum, and I wouldn't mind having one.
So he asked me, "If I could make it affordable for you, would you be interested in owning this machine?"
So I said, "Sure, IF you can make it affordable for me."
He asked me what was affordable. I told him $30 a month. That's my budget (it's a VACUUM for crying out loud). I wasn't budging. He tried to talk me up to $90 a month, then $75. He even got down to $50 a month (with 24% interest). He called his boss; he tossed around more figures; he told me again what a bad person I was for letting my family live with such filth (not his exact words); he even offered to buy my old vacuum. He never got down to $30/month, so I said no dice.
Even though he had told me there would be no hard feelings if I said no, even though he said I could take it or leave it, he still left in a huff. I can't really blame him, though.
But my carpets are cleaned, so I got what I wanted. Did I swindle them? I don't know, maybe. Am I a bad person for not getting my family out of the grime and filth that my Bissell leaves behind? I don't know, maybe. Am I going to let another vacuum salesman in my house again to give his sales pitch to me? I don't know, maybe.
posted by Amber | 3:03 PM
6 Comments:
Before we had kids, we had bunk beds in our house that once belonged to my mom as a child - including the mattresses. The kirby boy (I won't even call him a man) was thrilled at how much dirt came out of them. I rolled my eyes at him and told him I was more willing to buy new mattresses (once I had a person to sleep on them) than I was to buy his vacuum. He didn't like that answer.
My vacuum budget is about 89$. Every 5 years. Maybe if I owned a house I would care about the carpets more!
When I first moved to Utah, I took a job as a vacuum sales person. I hated that job so much! Your story really made me laugh!
We're moving to Powell. Trevor's going to be one of the pharmacists at the hospital. It does feel weird moving back to the area. I wasn't planning on it, but I think it will be good...right? :o)
Oh yeah, I should probably vacuum today...
I do not spend $300 a year for carpet cleaning, and why would I when some clean cut kid will do it for freeee!
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